6th May: Two filly foals born this morning to Rosemaree and Honey. Both are up and sucking and look bright enough. I can't get near enough to check that the mares have milk but assume that since the foals are lively that they have. Something good at last.

20th February:

I have no help to get my mares served and am loathe to have the stallions running with mares in case of injury. If anyone locally has time to help me I would be very grateful. I am more than willing to pay for help and can offer acomodation and board. I only need part time help.

1st May : Things are no better. In fact, maybe worse.

One good thing was that Maisie, my old cow with the droopy udder calved at the beginning of March and her heifer calf was sucking within 48 hours. Maisie didn't cleanse and so had to stay indoors for a few days but both she and her calf are fine now.

On Monday 28th April, Harmony had a still born filly foal. Just as I discovered this, I saw that Heigh Ho was foaling. The best neighbour in the world helped me get the mare and foal indoors as the weather was so bad and Harmony was trying to steal the foal. We got the filly foal sucking, but the mare had no milk. I tried stripping colostrum from Harmony but she didn't seem to have much. My thanks must go to Penny Ritson of Garth Stud at Denny who gave me some frozen colostrum. I fought hard to save this wee filly. My son-in -law, Colin, did a wonderful job of teaching her to suck from a bottle yesterday. This morning, I found the poor wee filly dead. I am exhausted with staying up late to feed the foal.

Ronnie is still in Dunblane and has carers three hours a day on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I see him every day apart from this week when I have been coping with the filly foal.

20th February: Life has been not just a rollercoaster, but more like a whirlwind since I last wrote.

Ronnie's father collapsed on 3rd February, was resuscitated after 20 minutes (which meant he was brain dead, and he survived for 28 hours after that. The funeral, which was private, was on 11th and I read a poem at the service conducted by a humanist.

Ronnie is now living in a flat I own in Dunblane and I spend time with him every day. He has carers 21 hours a week.

I live day to day - sometimes hour to hour - and it is far from easy. I now have to support his mother, aged 86, as well as Ronnie. Both Vicki and her husband are suffering from stress and the twins are feeling the effects as well. How cruel to blight their lives at nine years old. This accident has destroyed my family and I cannot cope any more.

2nd January: Happy New Year to all my friends and my grateful thanks for all the help and support you've given us. It has not been a happy or sociable festive season for us. I can only hope that 2008 will be a better year.

27th December: It doesn't get any easier. Ronnie is focused on me and has no other interests and so I feel suffocated. Since Christmas, which was hard work, I have been exhausted all the time, and although he professes to love me so much, he cannot empathise, is totally egocentric and so gets angry with me for being tired. I don't know how much longer I can live like this.

21st November: Life has been pretty hard since Ronnie came home, especially since I am not happy to leave him alone, so I am with him 24 hours a day without a break. I feel both he and I have been very badly let down by the system as no carers were provided and it took weeks and weeks before the Physiotherapist and the Occupational Therapist even came here. The GPs, however, have been a huge help and support, as has the rehabilitation counsellor.

A case conference was held recently and a "befriender" is to be employed by social services. This person will spend two hours at a time with Ronnie, will take him places and do things with him. I don't know how often, but it will be a help.

The farm is very quiet without the cattle. I want to handle and wean my foals but I can't do it without help. Two friends helped me work with some foals recently.

I will be collecting the new season's beef on 7th December from the butcher and have a bargain pack of last season's beef for sale just now. See details by clicking here.

26th October: Today was the sale of nearly all the Highland Cattle. The cows were all scanned on Tuesday. I hadn't expected Maisie to be in calf but she is 5 months. I had intended to keep the old bag/pet as her other option was the big burner, since she is now aged. Annag, who has a calf at foot, has lungs damaged by pneumonia earlier this year, is also in calf. I can't put away cows in calf so they will both stay. All the other cows, apart from Peallachag, who calved first week of September, are scanned in calf.

I had enormous help with the sale from my neighbours, Robin Kyle and Jim Wilson, who helped get cattle in, had them scanned, got them in and loaded for transport to the sale. Alun Garton and Pat Gray did a great job in presenting the cattle for sale and I couldn't have managed without them.

The sale itself didn't go all that well. Prices were poor because the sale was delayed as a result of foot and mouth and also because of the bad harvest which has bumped up the prices of feed. My only consolation is that Pat bought three lots and friends of Alun bought two. I know they all have good homes. I worry about the others.

Ronnie wouldn't listen when I told him not to be involved in moving cattle to the ring and put himself in danger when the steers. the first of ours to be sold, were being moved. He wouldn't listen to me and got really angry. He went behind them to the pens before the sale ring.

I just keep thinking about my girls. I had expected they would be here for the rest of their lives. Ronnie doesn't understand other people's emotions and feelings so he tells me I should calm down .I just can't stop crying tonight.

7th October: I am selling several males: two stallions and three youngsters, as I cannot look after twenty four ponies on my own. It has been a hard decision to make.

I have just updated the Ponies for Sale page with a slide show of Rannoch and hope to have more photos of the ponies for sale in the near future. I have only advertised males so far as I don't know how many ponies I can cope with over the winter and I find it hard to choose which females to sell as they are the core of the stud.